Bonobos, Free Love & The Power of Myth
Hear about our Summer of Love, plus a roundup of offerings including The Symphony of Self, Iron John, and wonderings on eros & humanity's future. You know, the usual.
Dear friends,
Here’s a roundup chock-full of my latest offerings, including Summer of Love: an upcoming global cohort on relationships & community, as well as Iron John: A Mythic Story About Men, plus a few podcast episodes.
But first, I dusted off this old post I wrote during the initial Kickstarter campaign for my film The Village of Lovers, and thought it was a useful to adapt and republish below.
IN THE BOOK 'Sex At Dawn', authors Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha convincingly demolish most of our assumptions about partnership & sex within the dominant culture.
(Quick aside: I have two podcast conversations with Christopher Ryan you’re welcome to check it: The Evolution of Masculinity on my podcast and me speaking about The Village of Lovers on his podcast Tangentially Speaking).
For instance, they argue that humans are the most sexual species ever evolved, with origins closer to peace-loving bonobos than war-mongering chimpanzees. They reveal that women are biologically geared for multiple partners per sexual encounter, and that monogamy is extraordinarily rare in the animal kingdom.
And finally, they reframe our assertions about "natural" human partnership, where men offer their protection and resources for the sexual fidelity & fertility of women.
Instead, they suggest much of what we "know" about human partnership & sexuality is in fact an adaptation from the shift to agricultural civilization; when we abandoned the ancient structure of community for the recent nuclear family.
Let me say that again: all of our modern beliefs about love, sex, and partnership are, in fact, born out of the loss of the village-matrix.
This is why it is so difficult to have grounded conversations on love & sexuality. All of us who grew up in the dominant culture carry deep wounds inflicted by the experience of separation.
From the religions that told us sex was sin unless practiced within the sanctity of marriage. From the sexual abuse that ripples through the generations unobstructed in the silent shame of families 'saving face.' From the isolation enforced by atomized urban design that lacks spaces to come together and connect, celebrate and grieve.
This is why the fantasy of THE ONE appears as an unquestionable ideal. When your only chance for companionship and intimacy is limited to a single monogamous partnership, they are the promise of a life raft in a sea of chaos.
We then manifest the structures of scarcity that already dominate the rest of our lives. We seek in our partner that which they cannot provide: a vast spectrum of sexual fulfillment, superhuman parenting without inflicting their own neuroses, solid productivity in a material economy, and a never known but deeply longed-for connection to the web of life.
I know from experience.
I went through a divorce almost 10 years ago. For years I carried a torrent of anger holding back a tidal wave of grief. Stoic by nature, I was also programmed by the culture that crying is not for men. It took this journey to Tamera and the unfaltering support of community to bring forth my anger, then grief and finally... a deep sense of healing.
Plus I learned many key insights.
The sexual revolution of the 60's was sincere but ultimately premature. "Free love" when practiced as freedom from responsibility left a generation of broken families and disillusionment. But the lessons were not lost to all. The true depth of "free love" is revealed when understood as "freedom to love without fear."
This is why Tamera has placed TRUST as their beacon and TRUTH as their aim. We need communities of trust to heal our woundedness before proceeding to build a resilient culture in service to life.
Make no mistake. Tamera's community of trust has been painstakingly crafted from almost 40 years of continual effort.
They are no perfect utopia; and much of their research requires translation and adaptation to be grafted on the realities of the dominant culture.
This is why my co-filmmakers John Wolfstone & Julia Maryanska and I have opted to offer an online learning journey we're calling SUMMER OF LOVE.
It's a live cohort with like-hearted kin to explore what we've learned after a decade in this exploration, drawing inspiration and insight from many additional sources of influence & wisdom. We're also bringing guest teachers along the way.
If you're feeling the call, get the full details. We begin June 26, 2024.
DON’T MISS OUR EARLY BIRD DISCOUNT EXTENDED UNTIL JUNE 3RD, 2024.
Last week I also released a new conversation with Trevor Yelich, an alternative therapist specializing in breathwork, somatic psychotherapeutics and trauma work. I’ve been studying with Trevor to learn a deeper skillset on how to work with men one-on-one.
Listen to our conversation here
Also I’m pleased to share that I’ve released my Iron John conversation series as a self-paced journey, open to all genders.
Connect with the book & myth that ignited the mythopoetic men’s movement in the early 1990’s, and explore that continues to reverberate to this day.
I’m joined by an array of special guests, including Stephen Jenksinon, Sophie Strand, Ramon Parish, Michael Gay, Philip Folsom, Shay Au Lait & Stefanos Sifandos.
Explore Iron John: A Mythic Story About Men
Roundup of Podcasts
And finally, here’s a few podcasts that featured me as the guest:
Thanks for reading & tuning into my work.